


The beginning at the end

by Amyrose47



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Feelings Realization, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 01:44:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyrose47/pseuds/Amyrose47
Summary: Amara casts Lucifer out of Castiel's vessel before fatally wounding Chuck. In the aftermath Dean checks to see if Cas is okay, to find that Lucifer is gone and Cas is back! Dean is so relieved that he kisses Cas. They talk (and kiss) before the supposed kamikaze attack, and then again when Dean returns to the bunker. It's basically a re-write of the season 11 finale and season 12 premier. Enjoy!





	The beginning at the end

**Author's Note:**

> Some slight modifications on 11x23 Alpha and Omega and 12x1 Keep Calm and Carry on. It skips through some scenes, so it would be ideal to have watched those episodes. I thought if ever there was going to be a canon Destiel kiss, this would have been it.

"Check on him." Dean instructs Sam, pointing to Chuck. Meanwhile, Dean cautiously walks over to Casifer. He squats down next to him, though keeping some distance, and clasps a hand onto the angel's shoulder. Cas snaps awake at the touch and looks over to see Dean. He takes in a deep breath, unsure of what's happening. "Dean?" A husky voice asks. Dean does a double take, not believing his ears. "Cas?" His eyes search over the angel's face hoping for it to be true. "Hey, is that you?" He asked. "Lucifer is gone." Cas reassured. A sigh of relief leaves Dean and a small smile forms on his lips. So many emotions flooded his senses. Each of them pulling Dean's heartstrings in a different direction. Before he even knew what he was doing, Dean leaned in and closed the space between him and his angel. Their lips met only briefly, soft, longing, and pure. Moments later Dean's mind caught up to his body and he pulled away. "Don't EVER do that again." Dean said harshly to Cas. "We could have lost you." he followed up. "Okay Dean." Cas replied with a slight grin. "C'mon." Dean grabbed Cas' arm and helped him walk over to Sam and Chuck. "How..How are you feeling?" Sam asked Chuck. "You know when you're driving and a bug hits your windshield?" Chuck asked shakily. "Yeah?" Sam replied. "I'm the bug."

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"W..What are we doing?" Sam asks in disbelievement as he enters the bunker's war room. "Nothing." Rowena replies, setting down her cup of tea. "Exactly! Amara's out there eating the freakin' sun and..and...and we're doing nothing!" "And you have a better Idea?" Crowley interjects. "Yes! Anything! That's my better idea because 'anything' is better than this!" Sam wags his fingers at the trio. "Sam, I get it. Even if we could lock Amara away, it would not do any good now. I'm dying. And when I'm gone the cosmic balance between light and dark...it's over." Chuck tells the Winchester solemnly. Sam looks around the room in thought. "Alright!" Sam Declares. "Then if we can't cage her, we have to kill her." "Bingo" Crowley whispers to no one in particular before sipping the whiskey in his glass.

Meanwhile, Dean took Cas out in baby for a drive. "How are you doing? You know, after the whole 'Lucifer' thing." Dean asks. "I was just...was so stupid." Cas said with emphasis on the last word. "No. No..No. You were right, Cas. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun. And me and Sam wouldn't have done that." "Well it didn't work." Cas sighed. "Nah, but it was our best shot. And you stepped up." Dean assured him. "I was just trying to help." Cas explained. "Well, and you do help, Cas. You know, I...you know, sometimes me and Sam have so much going on and...and we forget about everyone else." Dean turned the wheel to the right, rounding a curve. "Well, you do live exciting lives." Cas laughed. "Yeah, that's one word for it. But you're always there, you know?" Dean looked over to Cas pointedly. "Hell, you're the best friend we've ever had. I mean..." Dean raised a hand off of the steering wheel trying to find the words. Instead, he pulled baby over onto the shoulder and parked before turning off the engine. Dean sighed. He turned toward Cas and looked deep into those icy blue eyes. "You're more than that to me, Cas." Dean said softly. "I needed you to know that before..." Dean couldn't finish his sentence. The world was ending and there was nothing he could do about it. It tore him up inside. Cas looked at Dean, sorrow in his eyes. He felt just as useless as Dean did about their impending doom. The angel slowly moved over to Dean and then placed his lips on the hunter's. He might not be able to stop the end, but he could do this. He wanted to do this. In this close proximity Cas breathed in Dean's scent of leather, oil, and whiskey. He memorized the rough yet pliable feel of Dean's lips on his own. When he pulled back, Dean was smiling. It was a rare sight and Cas loved the way it made his eyes crinkle around the edges. "You mean everything to me, Dean." Cas stated matter-of-factually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it was. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything before now." Dean all but whispered. And then he leaned forward and kissed the angel again. Harder, and more full of desire. His hands came up to grab at the lapels of Cas' trench coat, pulling him as close as possible. After a few moments Cas moved a hand to rest on Dean's thigh. They sat like this for a while, kissing and tasting one another. As much as Dean wanted to make up for lost time, he knew they needed to head back to the bunker. He reluctantly pulled back from Cas. As if on Cue, his phone rang. Dean grabbed it from his pocket and saw Sam's name on the screen. "Yo? Yeah, alright, we're on our way." Dean said before flipping the small phone closed. "We need to get back." He informed. "Sam's got something." Cas nodded and moved back to the passenger's side. The engine roared back to life, and Dean pulled out onto the road.

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Back in the war room, Dean and Cas listened to Sam's plan. "Wait, so now you want to kill the darkness? Wha...you're cool with this?" He asked God. "Because last time.." "Look, Chuck is dying." Sam interrupted. "Ah...No offense God." Sam added. "Yeah, no. I'm dying." Chuck replied. Sam continued, "So, we don't really have a choice. I mean, look, you've got darkness and light. You take one side away and...and.." "You upset the balance of the universe." Cas finished. "Exactly! But you take both away...and now both sides of the scale are empty, so..." Sam explained. "The universe is balanced." Castiel finished again. "Yes, okay, and look..." Dean began, "Hey, I'm game. But, how exactly are we going to do this? I mean Lucifer hit her with a..a...hand of God and...well, we saw how that turned out." Dean reasoned. "She does seem impossible to destroy.." Cas agreed. "Is she, Chuck?" Sam asked, looking over to him. Chuck sighed. "Well, uh, I mean...well, I..." He drug out. "Chuck!" Dean pressed. "Charles!" Rowena cried at the same time. Chuck sighed again. "Fine." He said, standing. "The darkness might, MIGHT, have a weakness. Light." He informed as he walked over to Crowley and took the bottle of whiskey from his hand. "Finally, he tells us." said Crowley. "What? I just wanted to trap her. I didn't want to murder her." Chuck huffed. "Okay, but now that we are trying to end her...how much light are we talking about?" Sam asked. "I don't know. 10,000 suns set to supernova?" Chuck guessed as he sat back down with the booze in tow. "Well, you, you're God." Dean stated dumbly, "So, just God 'em up." "Look at me. I'm...not in the best shape." Chuck replied. "Ah, okay. That's alright. We just need other ideas. Um...Rowena! What about the book of the damned?" Sam asked excitedly. "This is beyond..." She said, bringing her hands up in defense. "Crowley?" Sam tried. "Oh, I got nothing." He stated. "Well, what about souls?" Cas offered, "They fuel your demon deals. They're full of energy. They're full of light." He stated, looking at Chuck. "Each one is as powerful as...maybe, 100 suns?" Cas guessed, looking back to Sam. "He...He's not wrong." Rowena pointed out. "Okay, so, if we get this kind of juice, then what?" Dean questioned. "You get me enough souls...I can build a bomb." Rowena declared confidently. "Would that do the trick?" Dean asked God. "I..." Chuck looked to the ceiling in thought, "Maybe?" "Okay! Alright, plan B." Sam said with a smile. He was just happy to have a plan at all. "Okay, how many souls we talking here?" Dean asked Rowena. "The more the better." She replied. "Even if you could get that kind of fire power..." Crowley interjected, and stood from his chair. "...you really think it could work?" He questioned. "I can ask the angels. Heaven is full of souls." Cas suggested. "Okay. What else we got?" Sam asked the room. "Ghosts." Dean input. Sam raised an eyebrow in question. "I mean, they're just souls with baggage, right?" He clarified. "Yeah, but we would need a whole lot of them." Sam replied, doubtful. "Waverly Hills." Dean suggested. Sam huffed out a laugh. "Waverly Hills Sanitarium." He nodded, smiling. "Of course. Thousands died there." "A ton of ghosts." Dean stated. "Well, this is desperate. And stupid." Crowley huffed. "Well, desperate and stupid's pretty much all we got right now, so..." Dean said. "Fine. I'll go raid Hell. See what's left." Crowley said, placing his feet up on a foot rest. "Alright." Sam clapped his hands together. "Let's get to work!"

********************************************************************************************* 

When the souls were collected, Cas spoke up. "We'll need someone to get close to her. Someone with a...personal connection." His sad eyes locked on Dean's knowingly. All eyes turned to Dean. "Well, then what are we waiting for? How do I smuggle this thing?" He asks Rowena, his voice a few octaves lower than normal. "We could always shove it up your..." Crowley starts but Dean cuts him off. "Hey!" "...I mean, you could." Crowley remarks. "Rowena shakes her head. "You won't carry the bomb, you'll BE the bomb." She informs him. Dean nods in understanding and tears come forward threatening to spill. He looks to Sam and then to Cas. They were going to have to live in a world without him, but at least they would be alive. "I'm going to take what's in there." She points to the artifact holding the souls. "And put it in here." She places a hand to Dean's chest, directly over his heart. "Once you get close to her, you press your fingers together, like so." She demonstrates. "Boom." Her voice is flat on the last word. Everyone is silent for a few moments. Then Dean responds, "Okay." A single tear let's loose and slides down his face. Chuck sighs in distress. Once Rowena has deposited the souls into Dean, she informs them that he only has about an hour before he becomes a walking time bomb. 

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The odd group of humans and beings stand in a cemetery. Dean decided to pay a visit to his mother's grave before he kills Amara. Sam stood there at his brother's side, in front of the grave marked for Mary Winchester. "Dean, you know you don't have to do this." Sam tries. "Of course I do." Dean objects. "I just have to get close." Sam bites his check and stays silent. "I can do that. Okay?...I can do that." He repeats. "You know if this works and that bomb goes off..." Sam starts. "I know." Dean replies gravely. He turns and pats Sam on the shoulder. He's not that great with words and feelings. Sam stands for a few moments, tears in his eyes, before kissing his fingers and resting them on his mother's gravestone. Dean strolled over to God next. "You cool with this?" He asks. "No. I...even after everything she's done, Amara's still my sister. She's my family. I can't...I don't want to see her dead. But, I understand." Chuck explains while Rowena helps him stand against the impala. "Dean." Cas calls from behind him. He fights back tears as he turns around. This was the moment he was dreading, saying goodbye to Cas. He didn't know if he could. "Cas." Dean says. And then Cas' arms are around Dean's neck and Dean hugs him back. "Okay. Alright." Dean says, steeling himself. Still, there's an immense sadness in his words. He draws back slightly and rests his forehead against Cas', then a hand comes up to rest on the side of his angel's face. He can't kiss him, he won't. Not like this. Dean takes in a deep breath and forces himself to separate from Cas. "I could go with you, you know." Cas offers. "No...No..." Dean answers. "No. I gotta do this alone." He looks back at Sam and then tells Cas, "Listen. If...WHEN this works. Sam. He's gonna be a mess. So, look out for him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Cas turns for a moment to look at Sam before returning his gaze to Dean. "Of course." He says reassuringly. Dean clasps a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Thanks. For everything." He says. It doesn't say enough, but he doesn't know what would. He looks down at his feet before he looks up and says to everyone, "Okay. Look. I want a big funeral. Right? I'm talking epic. Open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band and Gary Busey reading the eulogy." He points to Sam. "Done." Sam responds. "And for my ashes, I'd like them here." Dean looks around the cemetery. "Yeah." He nods, happy with that decision. "You know, as far as eternal resting places go..." But Dean chokes up and doesn't finish his sentence. Instead, he takes the keys out of his pocket, and looks at them for a moment with a sad smile. He turns to Sam and offers them out. Sam shakes his head, tears falling freely now. "Come on, you know the drill." Dean says. Sam gives a half smile. "No chick flicks moments, come on." Dean encourages. Sam takes the keys and clears his throat. "Yeah, you love chick flicks." he jokes. "Yeah, you're right, I do. Come here." Dean says, pulling Sam into a hearty hug. "Okay, let's do this." He says, pulling away. Chuck nods solemnly and then snaps his fingers. Just like that, Dean disappears from the cemetery. It's all up to him now, the fate of the world rests on his shoulders yet again.

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"Sam, I'm so sorry." Cas says as they walk down the the bunker stairs. The sun had been replenished and the world didn't end. To them, that could only mean that Dean was dead from blowing up Amara. "If you want to talk...I'm here if you need anything." Sam nodded. "Hello, Hello!" An unfamiliar voice spoke. The woman pressed an enochian symbol with her hand, effectively throwing Cas far from the bunker. "Cas?" Sam called in shock. He reached for the gun he had tucked away, but the woman already pointed one at him. "Don't." She ordered. Sam's hands dropped to his sides and then he raised them defensively. "Sam Winchester. Toni Bevelle. From the Men of letters, London chapter house. " She introduced. Confusion played across Sam's face. "Oh, you wouldn't have heard of me...us. We're very traditional. Keep out of the way, keep to our studies." She assured. "What?" Sam asked. "They sent me to take you in." She informed him. "To take me in?" Sam repeated in disbelief. "Assuming the world didn't end, and yay." Lady Bevelle smiled. "Look, Lady..." Sam began. "We've been watching you, Sam. What you've done. The damage you've caused. Archangels, leviathan, the darkness, and now, well, the old men have decided that enough's enough. I mean, let's face it Sam, you're just a junked up hunter who's playing with things you don't understand and doing more harm than good. Now. Where's Dean?" She questioned. "Dead. Listen, Lady. I don't know who the hell you are, or what the hell you want..." Sam said approaching the women of letters. "Stop." She ordered, raising her gun. "Put the gun down." Sam counter offered. "I said stop." She warned. "You and I both know you're not going to pull the trigger." He stated, continuing to walk toward her. With a loud bang and a flash of light, the gun went off. 

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Dean opened the door to the bunker, allowing his mom to walk in first. She walked over to the railing and took in the view. "You live here?" She asked in amazement. "Yeah. When we're not on the road. It's an old Men of Letters bunker." He explained, joining her at the railing. "Men of Letters?" She questioned. "They're a...myth. An old hunter's story." She said as she climbed down the stairs with her son. "Not so much." Dean responded. "You're duds look good." Dean told his mother. "Thanks. It's better than walking around in that old nightgown." Mary said as she came off the last step, and onto the ground floor. Immediately she and Dean knew something was wrong. Their gazes fell to the blood trail on the floor. "That's blood." Mary stated. "Yeah." Dean confirmed. He pulled the gun from his waistband and cautiously followed the trail of blood past the war room table and into the library. "Sammy? Cas?" Dean called. There was no answer. Dean spotted the enochian symbol written in blood and he swallowed hard. Something really bad has obviously happened here. He turns around and grabbed a spare gun from under the war room table and gave it to Mary. "Take this. Stay here." He ordered. "Dean." Mary whispered as Dean made his way down a few stairs behind her. Left by herself, she decided to investigate as well. She walked to the library, gun raised. Since there was no immediate threat, she inspected the sigual, and then a shelf of books. Suddenly, the sound of the bunker door being swung open and then closed radiated off the walls. Mary turned around and stood against the nearest pillar. She got ready to attack if need be. Heavy Footsteps began to ring out softly but they became louder as the owner of them approached. Mary abandoned her hiding spot and pointed the gun at the intruder. "Hands in the air. Get on your knees." She demanded. "Who are you and where is Sam?" Cas growled. "Hands. Now." Mary said, cocking the gun and getting ready to shoot. "Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! It's okay!" Dean said urgently, walking over with his hands up. He grabbed his mother's hands and lowered them. "He's a friend. It's okay." He soothed. "Hey, Cas." Dean greeted. "Dean!" Cas said in disbelief. He quickly embraced Dean in a tight hug. "You're alive?" Cas asks, unsure if it's real. Mary tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brows, wondering what her boys relationship to this guy was. "Yeah. I, uh, I talked Amara into making up with Chuck and she..." Dean tried to explain, but Cas cut him off with a kiss. It was quick and it was chaste but it was perfect. "Hey man, we, uh, have an audience." Dean chuckled. Mary stood there with a questioning look on her face. "Mom, this is Cas, he's..." "Your boyfriend?" His mom finished. "Well, uh, that's very new." Dean explained with a laugh. "I am also an angel of the Lord." Castiel told her. "Come again?" She asked, confused. "Angel. With a capital 'A'. You know, wings, harp." Dean said. "No, I don't have a harp." Cas clarified unnecessarily. "This is Castiel." Dean told Mary. "Cas, this is Mary. Winchester." He motioned in her direction. "Your...mother." Cas said, realizing he had just kissed Dean in front of his newly resurrected mother. Oops. "Wait, wait. Where is Sam?" Dean asked. "He's not answering his phone. There's blood on the floor. What's going on?" Dean asked. "I don't know. When we came back here, there was a woman waiting for us. She blasted me away. I don't know who she was or what happened to Sam."

**Author's Note:**

> And then they kick ass, take names, and get Sam back! Happy ending, yay! : )


End file.
